Harold Godwinson and his army reached the south coast of England, preparing to face the invading Normans.
As his troops assembled into a shield wall, a tall huscarl stepped forward, spear in hand.
“My father, and his father before him, fought beside the kings,” he declared. “I claim the right to fight at your side!”
Harold nodded. “Let me see how skilled you are.”
The huscarl picked up an apple.
“Watch this,” he said. He threw the apple high into the air, hurled his spear after it, and when they landed, the apple was perfectly pierced at its center.
“Impressive,” said Harold. “You shall fight at my left hand.”
Next, a Thegn stepped forward.
“My father, his father, and his father before him fought beside the kings. I claim the right to fight at your side!”
“Show me your skill,” Harold said.
The Thegn picked up an apple.
“Watch closely,” he said. He tossed the apple high into the air, drew his sword, and in one clean motion, sliced it into four perfect pieces before it hit the ground.
“Remarkable,” said Harold. “You shall fight at my right hand.”
Then, an ancient archer hobbled forward, bow in hand.
“My father, his father, and every father before them have fought beside the kings. I claim the right to fight at your side.”
Harold raised an eyebrow. “Show me what you can do.”
The old man picked up an apple.
He tossed it in the air, not quite as high as the others, drew his bow, and let loose an arrow.
The arrow missed the apple and struck a passing crow.
Undeterred, the old man picked up another apple, tossed it in the air, and fired.
This time, the arrow missed the apple again and hit a horse square in the rump, sending it bolting.
Determined to impress, he grabbed a third apple, tossed it, and fired one last shot.
The arrow whizzed past the apple, missing completely, and lodged itself in a huscarl’s backside.
Harold sighed, turned to his Thegn, and muttered,
“Keep that old fool away from me… he’s going to take someone’s eye out before the Normans even get here!”