ElderlyJokes An Old Man Paddy Opens The Newspaper. This Is Super Funny. An Old man paddy opens the newspaper and is shocked to see his OWN obituary. In a panic, he phones his friend. “Riley, did you see the paper this mornin’? I open it and there’s my own obituary. It’s lookin’ like I be dead!” Riley replies: “I saw that, I did!……. So, is it hot where you be callin’ from, Paddy?” See more Previous joke An Elderly Paddy Goes To The Doctor. Next joke The Telephone Rang At Johnny’s House.