AnimalsJokes Little Johnny Is At A Horse Auction With His Father. This Is Epic. Little Johnny is at a horse auction with his father. He watches as his father moves from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs, backside. After a few minutes, Johnny asks, “Dad, why are you doing that?” Nodding, his father replies, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I make a decision.” Johnny looks worried. Finally, he says, “Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.” See more Previous joke Animals In The Forest Have A Meeting. Next joke A Man Scolded His Son For Being So Unruly.