A Scot, an Englishman, and an Irishman were serving in Nelson’s Navy.
One day, they broke some naval regulations and were each sentenced to 200 lashes.
On the day of the punishment, the Englishman went first.
The doctor in charge asked him, “This is going to be very painful. What would you like on your back to ease the wounds?”
“Just slather on some goose grease,” the Englishman replied.
He endured the lashes and was carried off to the sick bay to recover.
Next, it was the Scot’s turn.
When asked the same question, he boldly replied,
“Naethin’. I’m a true Scot. I dinna need annathing!”
He took his punishment and, impressively, managed to walk away to the sick bay.
Finally, it was the Irishman’s turn.
“What do you want on your back?” they asked.
Without hesitation, the Irishman replied,
“The big Scotsman!”