AnimalsJokes An English Professor Complained To The Pet Shop. This Is Truly Funny. An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.” See more Previous joke Little Johnny Comes Home From School… Next joke A Boy Talk To His GirlFriend.