AnimalsJokes A Burglar Broke Into Our House Last Night. This Will Blow Your Mind. A burglar broke into our house last night. I watched him shine his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, “Jesus knows you’re here.” He nearly jumped out of his skin, turned his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued. Just as he was putting a laptop into his bag, he heard “Jesus is watching you.” Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on our parrot. “Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot. “Yes”, the parrot confessed, who then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you that he’s watching you.” The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who are you to warn me?” “Moses,” replied the bird. “Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?” “The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.” See more Previous joke An Old Aunt Cora Went To Her Doctor. Next joke One Man Was In The Church.